Taste Your Beating Heart
by rose-of-alabaster
Summary: Anbu will break your body, it will ruin your soul, it will destroy your mind. Slight shikaneji. Oneshot.


Taste Your Beating Heart.

They were running in the darkness, leaping from limb to limb in the trees, sometimes dropping down to dart among the trunks on the forest floor, always glancing back to make sure that they were not being followed. They were injured, bleeding, torn, and ragged, but they would not stop. Not until they had completed their mission, not until they had finished what they had begun.

Swan suddenly held up a hand and they immediately stopped, a line of shadowy darkness on a large tree limb. "Six on the ground."

"Panther," the captain said. The Anbu turned to look at him fully, the weak moonlight through the leaves sent streaks of silver down the snarling, porcelain face. "Give the scrolls to Swan. Take care of those," he gestured to the enemies lying in wait, "and catch up with us." Panther nodded and, as he made a move to jump down and sneak up on the enemy, the captain caught his arm. Panther hissed slightly in surprise. "Quickly," the captain commanded, unperturbed by the reaction.

As Panther leaped down, landing soundlessly out of sight of the enemies, the rest of the team moved on, creating a clone to take their teammate's place. The captain glanced down just before he took off after the other four members of the team to see Panther, just a flash of moonlight on a white face, creeping through the undergrowth, nearly flat on the ground. The captain could imagine the low purr of pleasure in the hunt rumbling in the other man's chest. He shuddered slightly and rushed after his team.

Panther pushed through the leaves silently, moving quickly but stealthily as he made his way up behind the enemy. They were spread out to cover more area. A cruel smile pulled his lips away from his bared teeth. They were so much easier to kill this way.

The one on the far left was the first to go, neck broken when Panther sneaked up behind him, covered his mouth and snapped it in one move. The man didn't even have a chance to squeak. The Anbu lowered the dead man carefully to the ground, not out of any concern for the body but to keep the others from hearing it. A low purr grew in his throat as he looked down at the corpse.

The one on the far right was the next to go. Panther knelt in the trees and waited until the man triggered the noose. He jumped down and held the man steady as he was strangled to death to keep him from thrashing about and making too much noise. The last thing the man heard was the pleased growl of the Anbu holding him immobile. Panther lowered him into the thick undergrowth as well.

One of the remained four noticed the absence of the one on the far left and shouted to the others who were immediately on alert. Panther crouched in the trees above them, purring as he slid his twin swords from their sheathes on his back. When they gathered together to report the ending of the two end guards, he jumped down, decapitating one with a smooth motion on his way. He stabbed another through the heart before any could react. However, the last two got on the defensive before he could get to them.

They watched in horror as the Anbu stood, streaked in blood. He was already injured from another attack, a hasty bandage turned a nasty pink from the continued bleeding of the gash on his chest. It seemed that he didn't notice, flicking his swords over his wrists and back into his hands as he watched them. The growl that he emitted was their only warning as he lunged forward.

One took wounds in his legs and belly with only a glancing blow to the Anbu's shoulder as a reward. As he fell to the ground, dying, and the Anbu turned to the other ninja, he saw his chance and threw a kunai at the Anbu's back. It struck between his shoulder blades and the Anbu stumbled for a moment. As the ninja died, his companion hurried forward and knocked the Anbu's legs out from underneath him so he fell on his back, driving the kunai deeper into his back. A gasp of pain left the Anbu and the living enemy stepped up for the kill.

The Anbu slashed out with one of his swords and it bit deep into the enemy's leg, just below his knee. The man fell away and Panther rose to his feet, reaching back to touch the kunai now firmly lodged in his back. As if he was in no pain, the Anbu strode forward and slashed out again, severing the man's lower leg from his body. The man howled.

The enemy looked up with pain glazed eyes as the Anbu knelt beside his head, running long, bloody fingers through his hair. He could see a pair of pale eyes behind that mask. He could hear the low purr that the Anbu let out. Those fingers trailed down his face. Suddenly, there was a cold pain in his shoulder and he managed to look over and see a kunai sticking from the place of pain. The purring grew louder.

"You hurt me," the Anbu murmured. The injured shinobi couldn't answer, too busy clenching his teeth against the pain. "You will pay." The fingers were back, sliding over his arms and chest. "What should you lose first?" he asked. The Anbu's voice was pleasantly low and quiet. The shinobi could only jerk in surprise as the Anbu's sword took his other leg. The world began to turn black; the last thing the shinobi heard was the sound of a deep, rumbling purr.

Panther stood and looked down at the enemy. Already dead. How uninteresting. He pulled his sword from where it had been embedded in the ground when he slashed the enemy's leg off. He slid both his swords back into their places without cleaning them. For a moment he reached back and touched the kunai in his back again. He growled when he felt the tiny space between the looped end and his flesh.

"Captain told you to hurry," he murmured. "You should leave now."

He glanced at the four bodies that he could see. Perhaps he should burn them. Perhaps not. He left them there as he jumped back into the trees to follow his team.

They had gone very far by the time he caught up with them.

"I told you to be quick," the captain said as Panther dropped into their makeshift camp. They hadn't even lit a fire.

"We were quick," Panther answered, cocking his head to the side as if he didn't understand. His long ponytail trailed over his shoulder.

"Were you injured?" Swan asked.

Panther didn't answer, instead sitting down directly in front of the captain. The captain tried not to flinch as he felt those pale eyes studying him. He had been warned about Panther when he had become captain of this team. Panther... who killed his teammates as easily as he killed the enemy if they got in his way.

"Were you injured?" the captain asked. Panther still didn't answer. He snapped, "Panther! I asked you a question. You will answer me."

"We will?" Panther asked, sounding genuinely confused. He leaned back on his hands and tilted his head slowly from side to side. "You asked us something?"

"I asked _you _something, Panther. There is only one of you," the captain said wearily. "Were you injured?"

"Of course there is only one of us," Panther said.

"Captain," Robin said quietly. "It is better if you only have one subject going at a time." Robin walked over and knelt beside Panther. "Panther, were you injured?"

"Cats eat birds," Panther answered, staring off into nothingness.

Robin backed away quickly, holding his hands up in a sign of surrender. "He's not injured from the front as far as I can see," he told Swan.

Swan nodded and nonchalantly walked behind Panther. "Kunai to the back. That's it," she said. She took up Robin's former position beside Panther's side. "Panther, there is a kunai in your back."

"We know."

"May I remove it?" she asked.

Panther turned his head to observe her for several long moments of silence. She looked right back. Finally, he nodded and rolled his body forward so his back bent and she could touch the wound gently. "This will hurt," she informed him as she grasped the hilt and pulled the kunai out of his back. It was long and lodged deeply. It took some working to get it out. Panther hissed in displeasure. Finally, she held it in her hand. She swiftly bandaged the wound, unable to do much else. She held out the kunai to Panther when she was finished. He took it from her and inspected it before putting it in his own kunai pouch.

"We will be back to Konoha by morning if we get two hours of sleep," the captain said. "I will take a half hour watch and then wake the next person."

The Anbu nodded and laid down on the ground with only their torn clothing for warmth. The captain sat on the edge of the small clearing. He turned when he heard something moving around. Panther was still up, creeping around the edge of the clearing, almost touching his hands to the ground he was bent over so low. He passed the captain without a word.

The captain watched as the more senior operative finished his circuit and then went to the members of the team, gently touching each of their faces and then trailing his calloused fingers down their throats to their hearts where his fingers rested for a moment before moving on to the next. The captain had never seen this ritual before. He knew that the other team members would be awake; the tiniest sound woke Anbu. But none of them moved. He tensed when Panther reached him. The older Anbu touched his face, trailed his fingers down his throat to his heart and then went over to an empty space, laid down, and went to sleep.

The next morning they reached Konoha. After reporting, the captain stopped Swan in the hall as the rest of the team left. Panther had been sent immediately to the hospital.

"Yes, captain?" Swan asked. "What do you need?"

"Are you aware of what Panther did last night before he went to sleep?" he asked hesitantly.

"He touched everyone's faces and then their hearts," she answered. "Yes, he does that after every attack. You did not noticed before? Did he do it to you too?"

"I had not seen him do that after the other attacks and yes he did," the captain answered.

She laughed slightly. "He only does it when we all camp after an attack. I don't know why but Robin thinks that he is just checking on us. It's his way of making sure that we're all okay. He's always done it, at least, as long as I've been on the team and as long as Robin's been on the team."

"How long has Panther been on this team?" the captain asked.

If she hadn't been wearing her mask he would have seen the smile on her face. As it was, she reached out and patted his shoulder. "Captain, Panther _is _the team. He's been on the team since before I was on it, before Robin, before Hound and Panda."

"He seems to be..." the captain trailed off, unsure.

"He's insane," Swan filled in easily. "Completely insane. He tortures his victims, he drags out kills when he can't get torture in, he doesn't notice when he's been injured, he's killed a teammate more than once during a fight, he has multiple personality disorder, he's paranoid and schizophrenic," she paused and gave a small sigh, "But he's the best killer in Anbu. There's nothing he can't track. There's nothing he can't kill. And, in his own small way, he cares about his team."

"When he's not killing them," the captain said wryly.

"He can't tell friend from enemy in a fight," Swan said. "He didn't kill his teammates on purpose. He genuinely thought they were enemies. At least, that's what the shrink said. He's never said anything about it." She patted his shoulder again and started to walk away. "You don't need to worry about Panther. Being in Anbu for twenty years will do that to someone. We can all look forward to being like him if we live that long."

"Twenty?" the captain repeated to himself as she vanished around the corner and he made his way in the opposite direction to the stairs. He'd never heard of anyone being in Anbu for longer than ten years. He walked down the three flights of steps to the bottom floor, removed his mask and hooked it onto his belt, and pushed the doors open into the sunlight. He found Panther and another, non-Anbu man standing there; the captain recognized Nara Shikamaru from the few times he had gone to the intelligence department for paperwork. Panther still wore his mask.

"Panther," Shikamaru said gently. "It's time to go home."

"Home?" Panther repeated.

"Yes, home. Where you live... with me," Shikamaru said.

"We have a home? Hiashi-sama told us that we couldn't live together," Panther said, looking around as if searching for someone.

"Sh," Shikamaru said. "That was fifteen years ago, we live together now. Come on." Shikamaru reached up and carefully removed the mask on Panther's face. "There."

"Shikamaru?" Panther questioned.

"I'm right here," the Nara answered with a smile.

"Where am I?"

"You're outside the Hokage building. You just got back from a mission with your team. Dragon said that you were outstanding on this one."

The captain didn't want to eavesdrop but he couldn't help it. There was no Dragon on their team.

"Dragon," Panther repeated, looking off into space.

"Yes, you went and rescued some children from an orphanage. They're all very happy now. The Hokage got them new homes with nice parents."

"That's nice," Panther said absently.

"So we'll go home now and get you a nice bath and something to eat. Would you like that?"

"I suppose."

As Shikamaru took Panther's hand and started to lead him away, Panther said, "Shikamaru, I thought Dragon died."

"No, he's alive. You're on the same team, remember?"

"Oh... yes."

When the captain looked up Panther's team records later he found that Dragon had been killed in action some twenty years earlier, two months into Panther's life as an Anbu operative.

The captain decided to kill himself if he managed to survive more than ten years in Anbu.


End file.
